Sex in ‘Star Wars’: Here’s why it’s about time
To be frank, Star Wars, you’re 41 years old and you need to have sex.
The Last American Virgin isn’t a person. It’s a massively popular film franchise.
The 10 Star Wars films since 1977 have given us an abundance of lightsabers, cosmic derring-do, the Force, bounty hunters, good guys, bad guys and porgs, but no onscreen lovemaking. For characters who spend a lot of time in space with each other, there’s been a distinct lack of intimacy.
For Star Wars, it felt like a hyperspace jump in human relations. The franchise has a weird history when it comes to sexual attraction and relationships in general. The height of this was the chemistry between Harrison Ford’s Han and Carrie Fisher’s Princess Leia in the original trilogy, where there was a fine line between bickering and flirtation. The two actors had a tryst offscreen yet never on, though the characters’ passion for one another was palpable even in old age during The Force Awakens — before Han was offed by his kid, Kylo Ren.
Aside from Han and Leia, it’s a bit rough. The only time a bikini has made it into a Star Wars movie (in Return of the Jedi), it involved Fisher getting licked by the slug tongue of Jabba the Hutt and was much more about slavery than sex. Then there’s Luke (Mark Hamill) and Leia smooching in The Empire Strikes Back, partly to make Han jealous, creepy in hindsight once we know they’re siblings.
Which leads us to their parents, Anakin and Padmé, whose tragic love story is essential to the prequels. Romance is forbidden for a young Jedi — which explains some of the rampant chastity — so they have a secret love that leads to a secret wedding and a secret pregnancy. (So secret that they got busy between movies, apparently.) He ultimately becomes Darth Vader, but more unfortunate is a complete lack of sensuality between Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman, whose performances verge on the animatronic.
Sex is bound to happen if Star Wars continues to branch out with new and different creators and characters.
Chances are, the bedroom’s free.